Is it fair to say that universally we ALL have been through some thanggggsssssss these past couple of years?! I mean... 2020...and that's all I'm going to say!! The year that affected all of us in so many different ways. With so much happening, it's sooooooo easy to avoid how we feel in order to stay afloat and maintain daily tasks, but what about the task of you? The task that needs the most intimate and prioritized attention! When is really the right time to process all of these damn feelings?!!! I THOUGHT everything was normal, what other feelings would you have after dealing with a loss? Isloation and losing care after myself seemed normal because at that moment, I accepted that this is where I was going to be. I felt extremely lost, confused , and unfamiliar with someone I didn't know, but I knew it didn't feel right, and that this was a space that couldn't remain with me for long.
Whether a breakup, divorce, loss of a friendship, loss of a pet, loss of your old self or the ultimate loss of a loved one, we all have experienced this emotion to full capacity. LOSS. We are in a world full of escapism, and I'm noticing that many people would rather not deal with what's really going on, and continue to let life pass them by, which will have them remain stuck. I saw the results of that, and decided that this is not the life I want to continue to live. It's really deep work, but I wanted to fight and BELIEVE again and I knew that working towards pushing myself in all areas of my life would be worth it.
I was depressed and didn't know...yea for real, and I'm sure you are thinking, well how did you not know?! I was in denial. I truly felt like the way I was acting was normal, especially going through the deep loss that I experienced and still experiencing. My therapist mentioned this to me early on when everything first happened, but I brushed it off. Until one day, I realized that I didn't eat in 4 days. I was surviving off of coffee, water and crackers, but didn't have a full meal. I noticed so many changes in my behavior, physical appearance and overall emotional stagnation. I wasn't myself and didn't know who this person was. No color, no hair, no nails, no laughter, just a continuous state of somber moments. It was disheartening and that's when I had to come to terms, and accept that I was depressed. I didn't want to own this feeling but in order for me to get better, I had to be honest.
There are a few things that I did, which I discuss in the podcast that has helped. Take a listen as I deep dive in detail about not only what symptons I experienced, but what I did to slowly help get back to the Erica I knew. I learned during that time, that you have to choose joy and happiness daily. Although I have gotten better, it's so easy for me to fall back into a deep depressive state, and that is why everything has to be guarded. The people I'm around, what I watch, listen to , and the environments I am in, is all intentional. I mentally can't afford to be energetically irritated, it's so vital to my upkeep and emotional progression.
In the latest episode of the STGG podcast we are having a seat with depression, discussing the symptoms, how it may show up, and some strategies you can apply today to help you get back to YOU. We are having a short sit down, to process and understand what is currently happening, but we are not going to stay. This is a temporary space, if you make the choice for it to be. You have to understand that it is a choice, and commitment to be better...to see better...and believe better. This is something that I am still working on daily. I decided that I want to experience life and all the beauty within it in a fulfilled intentional way, and I want you to experience life like this as well.
I would love to hear you feedback, comments or questions! Send me a message or communicate with me on the socials. Let me know if anything stood out from the blogpost or from the podcast. Share your thoughts or stories.
Let's take the steps together. I'm rooting for us and believe that we will and CAN go through this temporary phase of life. Joy is our birthright, regardless of circumstantial temporary discomfort. You will smile again.
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