Music and Memories: Cleo Sol + My Father

Cleo Sol Concert Day

I was introduced to Cleo Sol during the most challenging time of my life - the loss of my father. Processing a loss like that left me extremely confused, not knowing what to think, say, or do. I was isolated and alone. Not due to lack of support, but simply shock. The only source of distraction I used was listening to gospel music, online sermons and Cleo Sol. From my memory, I believe I was journaling and one of her songs was within the playlist I was listening to. I paused my writing because I loved the lyrics, but what really touched me was her beautiful references to God. Her music felt like the softest hug that instantly will soothe your spirit. Her voice was tranquil and soft like a calm sea wave. It felt good to...feel captivated again, and actually hear the music. Especially at a time where I wasn’t feeling anything but sadness, anger, and pain.

Impromptu Photoshoot

After hearing a few songs, I had her music on heavy rotation daily. I wanted to explore her old albums in addition to her new music. I noticed there was still a strong consistent theme of God, healing, forgiveness, and courage. All the things I needed to hear then, and honestly still now. In her song “Things Will Get Better,” she writes:

Things will get better

'Cause God will never fail you

God will never fail you

God sees your heart

I know you're in the dark, but

It's a part of life, mm

Things will get better

Tell me that wasn’t just beautiful. Especially hearing that God will never fail you, because truthfully he won’t. Just last week, I was having a restless night and couldn’t sleep. I was overthinking and whenever I looked up, the time felt like it jumped from one hour to three hours. I prayed, asking God for rest and then put this song on. Within a few minutes, I finally slept. I knew that Cleo Sol was an artist from the UK, and from what I know she wasn’t really performing in the US. I saw a beautiful clip of her singing “Know That You Are Loved,” and I said to myself that if she EVER came to NY, I would see her. A few months later, I opened Instagram and saw that not only was she coming to the US, she was going to perform in New York specifically! I could not contain my excitement, and immediately added the release dates for the tickets on my calendar. At the time she only posted one date, and with the amount of fans she has, I wondered if I would be able to obtain a ticket. Am I going to get the chance to see Cleo Sol live?

A Smile I Didn't Think I Would See Again

When you are meant to experience something, you will. The tickets went on sale on December 18, 2024. I set my alarm to ensure I was ready as soon as it went live, within minutes the show sold out. I was disappointed, because out of all the shows happening this year, this was the only show I wanted to see. Immediately, I noticed she added another show, I waited to be on que and that also sold out. I accepted the fact that I was not going to see the show, until a third show appeared. I was on line for that and finally was able to get through and get a ticket! I had a date with myself coming up on March 25 to see Cleo Sol! I was so excited and already knew that I was going to plan a full day experience to prepare for this musical revival.

Radio City Music Hall, NYC

The day of the concert was exciting, but I also had a range of mixed emotions. While I was elated to see Cleo Sol live, I felt an overwhelming senses of sadness based on how I discovered her initially- through grief. I let the thoughts come and go, and had to center myself to be present. I decided that I to have a slow intentional morning. I prayed, lit a candle, took a nice long shower, completed my full skin care routine, slowly put on my body butter, and topped it off with a beautiful warm fragrance combo. The sun was shining, I was calm, and felt emotionally ready to have an eventful day.

I decided to pack an additional light, tripod, and battery to do a photoshoot in the city (by myself) ,as well as capture all the videos from the show. I left early to find a location and once I did, I was snapping videos and photos of myself for about an hour. I was a little nervous at first because although I have filmed in public, I haven't used my tripod in an NYC street before. However that quickly went away once I started posing and recording videos. I somehow transform into a top model when I am in front of a camera. I met with my cousin quickly for dinner and headed to Radio City to finally see Cleo.

The Beautiful Cleo Sol

The last time I was in Radio City Music Hall, was my college graduation, where I was with my family, including my father. I walked in there with a sense of disbelief that it has been a few years since I graduated college, and also remembering the joy I felt being with my family. I remember after the graduation, my father was waiting for me with flowers, and now I’m back in the space, holding on to the memories. I walked in very slowly,just taking everything in as I headed to my seat. The show started and as she was coming out, it hit me that I stated if I ever had the chance to see her, I would and...here I was. I danced, I sang, I cried, and I smiled- the show was everything I thought it would be and more. It wasn't just about the concert, this is about the continuous journey I am on to heal and live life. I'm just grateful for the supportive people and tools that I have access to, including intentional soft music. It was a beautiful day, and being that I was in the city, I knew that Daddy was there with me.

At a time where I wasn’t speaking to anyone, God spoke to me, letting me know that things in fact that things will get better.